Gamers

I strongly believe that guys who doesn't play computer games are faggots. They hold each others' hands when they are out in the mall. They squeal at cute stuff toys and jump about with the knees bent backwards.

Okay what if one day, virtual and reality decided to have a little swap?

See, I often get myself super addicted to games. I didn't sleep for 48 hours straight just to complete Dungeon Siege and went on with a 18 hours Burnout marathon to unlock all the tracks and cars. So that is 66 hours of no sleep, just constant regeneration with snacks and bathing every 2-3 hours to stay awake and fresh.

Then, have you imagined what I've imagined? Imagine this, the whole fucking truth about gaming is actually the game characters controlling you. You appear to be hooked on, but on the surface, you are just a puppet.

Game characters are actually polygons/pixels with a mind on its own, just wasn't given the ability to maneuver. Then, when gamers are asleep, game characters paid pixels to the Dreamy Fairy to enter our mind to influence us to play the game. Due to the fact that a normal human dream only last for 1-2 seconds, game characters are only able to leave an impression, not an impact.

So when gamers wake up, subconsciously they will go gamespot to check out the latest game and get the games which they felt have a little connection with them, not knowing that they actually had their mind influenced by the game characters.

So after gamers registered their game, fully installed. The game characters then again suck the souls of gamers right after they managed to freeze time. Gamers' souls were brought to this "boardroom" kinda venue but probably more sci-fi. You see bugs flying above you. Have to watch out for random "0010101101" zooming towards you. You get to witness A.I memorizing their state machines. Then while all these were happening, game characters try to promote themselves like insurance agent and convince you why they should be chosen as the primary character. Hypnotized , gamers gave the " I'm high" face and say " okay..." to them. Then after that, a digitally spiritual chain formed up to link the two together. Not a very fancy looking chain, just mosaic looking. Gamers with higher mental resistance probably will have aura emitting from their bond.

From then on, gamers became the slaves of the characters. Hot keys are assigned in full fledge ergonomic comfort to maximize the performance. And as it appeared to be as though the gamers didn't feel comfortable with the settings, the sick truth is actually because the game characters were not satisfied with fluidity in the controls executed. Some regretted choosing gamers with weaker eye-hand coordination. The lack of kinematic intelligence piss the characters so much that they squeeze their ass to activate the " emergency escape " button and thats why you see pop ups with error codes you can never ever define. Its a hoax. They are actually saying " j00 5uck pu55y. gh3y f4g n00b."

See, its not addiction. WE ARE FUCKING SLAVES IN DISGUISE!

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Okay, when is Andy gonna return me my PSP. I need it badly